Being Stingy With Your Time & Friendship:
“Where some people belong”
May 25, 2018
By: CaspHer
This blog or story is not about bashing or degrading anyone but it is simply about letting everyone know that you’re aware of the “Emotional Vampires” that find us. It would have made for a good podcast but I figured people would get tired of hearing m accent-less voice. The folks who take advantage of your genuine generosity are now known as “bedbugs” for sure. These “bedbugs” that latch on deliberately drain you of all of your good energy; if you refuse to let them latch and drain, you are the terrible person to each and every person who lends them an ear to vent.
Before going any further, I would like to say thank you to whoever reads this blog and that it is not going to be a long post at all. Secondly; in my own right, I am a disability advocate and an assistive technology trainer for the blind and visually impaired out of Massachusetts. Over the last few years, I have had to work very hard to get rid of emotional leeches and vampires, I have done a great job of discerning them better of the years. I have always been a very guarded person but in very rare moments, a leech slithers in and latches onto me. I have learned how to become stingy with my time and friendship with people these days.
If you met me five years ago, you’d think many people would be able to take advantage of me and abuse me because I was such friendly person but not so much anymore. Maybe five years ago, I was too friendly with people and could have an entire school being friends with me. Were they really friends? Did I have something that made them latch onto me? Maybe I did have many things that attracted the energy vampires. I was and still am a very conservative dresser in my appearance which means I did not walk around with 1% clothing on. In fact, I enjoy layering up with multiple pieces of clothing. In most cases, I am always seen in preppy attire or a pant suit. This is not about what CaspHer looks like so, I’ll redirect the storyline.
Not everyone deserves your friendship or anything that ends in, “ship” for that matter and you also need to let some folks know where they belong in your life.
In my line of work, I am dealing with multiple temperaments with either some clients or constituents and these things vary. As much as I enjoy helping people and seeing them do well, I have to uphold a firm and high barrier in the meantime. Sometimes, you’ll have that constituent or client that would over reach and bypass your boundaries that were set from start. Some get that impression that because you’re such a “sweet” person, they can just pop up and invade your space or overcrowd your phone with calls and messages left and right. Put aside the fact that they have disabilities and look at the personalities and vibes that come around your aura. In some cases, you’ll have that person who calls themselves your “friend” who does this constantly; the latching on like an energy vampire, the constantly needing something as well as getting upset with you for having other friends.
In the social part of my life, I have certainly become incredibly stingy with my friendship and my time, this means I am not for everyone that wants to be my friend for their own reasons. I literally have a small collection of people I call friends and these people are true friends. The folks I call friends have also witnessed some of what I’ve endured over the years, have been my buddies that I would spend time with during good and bad times. I would like to spend time with my friends for the good things more than the bad. Whenever my real friends are in need of an ear to vent to, I was always around or whenever they needed support for an idea, I was certainly there.
When it comes to social media; I am extremely selective about those I’ve allowed into my social media activity. There are some folks whom you’ve had disagreements with over the years and parted ways but they’ll find themselves in your friends request list, I’m not very keen on random people on my friends list. I have acquired a large number of friends through the years of having social media accounts and being involved in a lot of advocacy events. There’s also that strange corner of social media where people request your friendship just to “wall watch” and that’s all. A wall watcher is someone who comes into your social media just to report what you do, not only report what you do to others you no longer associate with but to utilize your material. I have shut that mischievous and desperate behavior down.
I’ve decided to ignore all of the requests that have been sent to me from random people and only accept those I’ve actually met in person or communicated with directly from now. I’ve decided to only be available to those who are deserving of my time and friendship. Often times, people are only wanting to waste your time and waste space in your life, which is no longer happening.
In general, there are people who just have to be thrown out of your life entirely without a warning. You as a good person do not like to make people feel bad but after multiple attempts to reason with them, you’ve got to slam the door on their talons forever. From this point on, you shall learn that you are no longer giving out second or a hundred more chances, they know you’re a good person and will accept the abuse and disrespect which means you’ve acquired a leech until you throw them away as if you’ve never known them.
Sometimes, things get that way and if you’ve ever felt a sudden surge of happiness after removing the bedbug from your life which meant you’ve been suffering deeply because of them.
I’ve gotten rid of a few leeches and vampires and to be honest, I’ve enjoyed the lightness and increase of my internal glow of natural happiness. Since becoming stingy with my time and friendship, I’ve felt happier and free inside and out, when I laugh about something humorous, I’ve finally gotten the chance to truly be happy.
Make sure you are friends with people who are deserving and worthy of your friendship and time because you’re not for everyone!
